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"The Lord God has given Me The tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak A word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear To hear as the learned," Isaiah 50:4 (NKJV) "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:19 (NLT) How many times have we all said something before we knew what was really going on? How many times have we been frustrated with others who were quick to give their opinions about what we should do in a given situation even when we did not ask for their opinion? God warns us in His Word to first listen before we speak. I tell clients to pray before they speak and ask God, "Is what I am about to say going to add fuel or water to this fire?" If we would seek God, listen to His promptings, and only say what He tells us to say when He tells us to say it, many of those "fires" would not even be lit to begin with.
I encourage you to listen to three different sources before you speak: 1. God - He is the only One who knows everything. He knows what is going on and why. He knows if you will help or hinder progress in any given situation. You may have great insight to a situation, but the other person may not be ready to hear. In that case, God can guide you into how to pray. 2. The other person - Before speaking into someone else's life or situation, it is important to listen to him/her. Your goal in listening to the other person is to understand where he/she is coming from and how he/she feels. So much forward progress can be made in a relationship when the listener validates the other person without judging him/her or without being defensive. 3. Yourself - Deep introspection is a great way to find out what your true heart motive is when you want to speak into a situation. Do you want to speak because of sincere concern for the other person, or do you want to speak for your own gain? This goes back to listening to God because He is the only One who knows your true heart motive. A great prayer you can pray along these lines is found in Psalm 139:23-24 (NKJV): "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." How refreshed we will be when we follow these guidelines and learn how to listen first before speaking! We may find out that we will be talking less. If so, we will also realize that fewer words will be more effective than many words previously spoken without listening. Give us ears to hear, Lord Jesus!
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 Did you know that the concept of "staying in your own lane" is actually Biblical? Galatians 6:4-5 says, "But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load." Now if you look at the first 3 verses of that chapter you will see that sometimes God will ask you to help someone in another lane, but only do it if He asks you to. Don't do it because it is expected of you or just because you want to "fix" their issues. If it is truly a God-assignment, it will flow with grace and you will not be stressed, frustrated, or put out with them.
When we say we give the Lord our whole heart, do we really know what that means? The Hebrew word for "heart" (leb) means much more the just the seat of my emotions. As you look over these definitions from the Strong's Concordance (Strong's #H3820), I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to invade each area of your "heart" listed. As you surrender these specific areas of your heart to God, my prayer is that you will begin to experience the incredible love of the Father....not just know He loves you, but actually experience that love in the deepest recesses of your "heart." I join the Apostle Paul's prayer for you from Ephesians 3:16-19. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV) The LORD is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him. Psalm 28:7 (NKJV) “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
While many people can quote Jeremiah 29:11, most people do not realize the context in which the verse was written. God was speaking through Jeremiah to the Israelites, who were taken captive to Babylon. Not only were they in exile, but the Bible says that God caused them to be taken captive. It is hard to grasp that God, who brings abundant life, would allow His children to be taken captive. However, God provided a way for them to have peace, even in captivity. He tells them to continue living life as normal and to seek Him to bring peace into their place of captivity. Build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit. Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters—that you may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captive, and pray to the Lord for it; for in its peace you will have peace. Jeremiah 29:5-7 If you are one of the many people who feels captive in your own home, I encourage you to seek God for peace there. Contrary to what you see, your situation is not hopeless; God can bring peace to your place of exile. Hang on and see Jeremiah 29:11 come to pass! (Note: The exception to this is if you are in an unsafe place; know that abuse is not OK and that God may be removing you from the situation for your safety.) If you continually focus on your bondage, your perspective will steal your hope. Proverbs 13:12 tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” It is imperative that we allow hope to rise within us if we want to see seemingly hopeless relationships restored and refined. Imagine your hands grasping on to all the pain from a hopeless relationship. Now, imagine hope entering and your fingers loosening off of the pain one finger at a time. You are still holding the pain, but hope positions you to let God take it. Your hands are then open and ready to receive what God has for you in place of all the pain you were previously holding. “Shut the door on the enemy!” I was just woken up by a sound of a door shutting and heard those words. God, I pray you kick the enemy out of America and shut the door on him! He cannot have our country! He cannot have the church! He cannot have my family! He cannot have my friends! He has done enough damage with his lies, and I say that is enough! Your truth will prevail in our land, oh God! Thank You for hearing the cries of your people and intervening as only You can do! Thank You for reversing all the enemy has done in Washington, DC and for using all he has done to backfire on him and on all people who have been his pawns for corruption! Reveal all the corruption that has been brewing in the darkness in Jesus’s mighty Name! Amen!
“ “Write this letter to the angel of the church in Philadelphia. This is the message from the one who is holy and true, the one who has the key of David. What he opens, no one can close; and what he closes, no one can open: “I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me. Look, I will force those who belong to Satan’s synagogue—those liars who say they are Jews but are not—to come and bow down at your feet. They will acknowledge that you are the ones I love. “Because you have obeyed my command to persevere, I will protect you from the great time of testing that will come upon the whole world to test those who belong to this world. I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take away your crown. All who are victorious will become pillars in the Temple of my God, and they will never have to leave it. And I will write on them the name of my God, and they will be citizens in the city of my God—the new Jerusalem that comes down from heaven from my God. And I will also write on them my new name. “Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.” So, I spent quite a bit of time typing a post on fear and when I hit "post" in order to publish it to the web, the only part that posted was the title, not the post itself...not once, but twice! Imagine that! Let's try that again...
It has been a while since I updated this journal blog. The holidays came, life happened, and to be honest, I got out of the habit of writing. However, my complacency in writing was challenged when COVID-19 hit the world bringing with it panic like I have never seen. It is time for Christians to rise up and communicate to everyone that there is no need to fear! Should we be wise and take precautions? ABSOLUTELY! Should we panic, buy out all the toilet paper and food, and hunker down in total isolation? NO! Jesus conquered death, hell, and the grave in His death and resurrection...that includes coronavirus! He is our Prince of Peace, and He will bring peace now if we allow Him. Below is an excerpt from my book, Refining Relationships. I have taken a portion from Chapter 5, "Spiritual Warfare in Relationships." In that chapter, I talk about how the enemy wants to destroy relationships. Part of the chapter talks about his first go-to tactic to bring division: FEAR. This excerpt is also a good reminder that we do not have to fear during this time the whole world seems to be falling into pandemonium over COVID-19: We know it is not God who gives fear because of 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” The good news is that as we develop our relationship with God and receive His unconditional love for us, fear cannot stay. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 God is the only One who truly loves us with a perfect love. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more than He already does. There is also nothing we can do to make God love us less. When someone really understands this truth and receives God’s love, she realizes there is absolutely nothing to fear. The moment we look to someone else to love us perfectly, fear will start to creep back in, since no human besides Jesus can fulfill our need to be loved perfectly. In other words, the antidote to fear is the perfect love of God; expecting others to love us perfectly will only create more fear. The Bible has much to say about the dangers of the type of fear that comes from the enemy, but it also has much to say about a positive fear that comes from God (the fear of the Lord). I pondered this and prayed for God’s perspective on this paradox. I then had a realization that fear is the act of acknowledging that someone or something has power over you. Think about it: when you fear anything other than God, be it a person, heights, public speaking, spiders, or any situation, you are really believing that whatever you fear is more powerful than you are. However, when you reverently fear the Lord, acknowledging that He has power over your life, you will consequently have peace of mind. Why? First of all, He loves us perfectly—so we know He will never take advantage of us. Secondly, God has ultimate power over all and knows everything; thus, we know that He will protect and guide us into what is best for us. Here are just a few selections of the Bible’s passages about the fear of God: And to man He said, “Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, And to depart from evil is understanding.” Job 28:28 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7 In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And His children will have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, To turn one away from the snares of death. Proverbs 14:26-27 Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, Than great treasure with trouble. Proverbs 15:16 The fear of the Lord leads to life, And he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil. Proverbs 19:23 Then the churches throughout all Judea, Galilee, and Samaria had peace and were edified. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, they were multiplied. Acts 9:31 When we fear the Lord, we have assurance that He is our refuge and defense. We know this because He is the most powerful being of all. No one is greater. He has the final say over all other gods. When you acknowledge God’s power and surrender your life to Him, you can rest assured that you are more than a conqueror through Him! God's Love For Us Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. 1 John 3:1-3 Our relationship with God is not just about us receiving Him into our lives and loving Him, but it has everything to do with how much He loves us! He did not just create us and leave us to live our lives the best we can. We know that God the Father loves us so much that He sent His Son to pay the price for our sins. We also know that we are Jesus’ joy and the reason He endured the cross. After Jesus’ death and resurrection, God lovingly sent us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us and be our helper, teacher, and guide on our journey here on earth. Finally, God’s ultimate desire for us is to be with Him forever in Heaven after we die. This divine love that started before we were born continues throughout eternity in Heaven and gives us a deep hope that actually purifies us!
The Bible calls the Church the Bride of Christ. I remember how I felt when my husband first started pursuing me. I felt valued, and I longed to be with him, especially leading up to the wedding day. We both wanted to spend time getting to know each other better. Similarly, God pursues us and longs to be with us; however, He already knows us better than we know ourselves. Even so, He longs for us to be with Him so that we may get to know Him better. He does not expect us to perform in order to earn His love--He already loves us! There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. Likewise, there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. When we respond to His loving pursuit of us, we will find that in His presence is fullness of joy. Though we will face adversity as long as we live on the earth, He has promised to be with us and give us His peace in the midst of trials. Excerpt from Chapter 1 of Refining Relationships: The Power of Perspective in Relationships10/18/2019 The world would be a better place if we could resolve misunderstandings between people! What causes misunderstandings? The main answer is simple: perspective differences. Our perspectives shape the way we perceive situations. For example, someone raised in the southern United States is taught to treat older people with respect. Southerners say, “Yes, ma’am” or “No, sir” as a sign of honor. However, someone raised in the northern United States may be offended if someone calls them “ma’am” or “sir” because they do not want to be thought of as old. Unfortunately, one person’s actions meant to promote respect can be misunderstood as offensive.  Before you continue reading, I encourage you to look at Figure 1-1 and contemplate how each of these areas has influenced your interactions with other people. No one else shares your personal experiences; thus, no one else can bring what you bring to a relationship. Likewise, God intentionally places specific people in your life because of what they bring to you. When we consider perspective differences according to their benefit to us, we will celebrate each person’s unique qualities instead of being critical of those who do not share our same perspective.
If we stay stuck in our own perspective, we will likely build walls between us and the people who do not share our same viewpoint. Since everyone has a different point of view, we cannot expect others to see things exactly as we see them. I have personally come to realize the importance of seeking God to show me my own perspective, the person’s perspective with whom I have conflict, and, more importantly, God’s perspective. The good news is that “in his own body on the cross, [Jesus] broke down the wall of hostility that separated us.” When we allow God to tear down walls between us, we will see how He can then build incredible connections with others. If we place Jesus as the cornerstone in each of our relationships and let Him build each relationship, we will then be “built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.” |
AuthorWith over thirty years of experience as an educator, minister, and licensed professional counselor, Tammy Melton, LPC holds ministerial credentials with Harvest Network International and is the founder of Legacy Ministries for Christ, Incorporated and Legacy Freedom, LLC. Tammy desires to see people set free with tools of inner healing and relational unity. Tammy and Bill, her husband of 36 years, live in Fayetteville, GA and have two adult daughters. Archives
September 2022
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